Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITETV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
More Ron White Quotes
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You can’t fix stupid.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
RON WHITE