We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKEBill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'ROURKE