The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
P. J. O'ROURKEWealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
P. J. O'ROURKE






