“Books are not about passing the time. They’re about other lives. Other worlds.”

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

A book is a device to ignite the imagination.

So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.

I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?

Nor did they seem to think one had done them a kindness by reading their writings. Rather they had done one the kindness by writing them.

If I had to sum up my work, I suppose that’s it really: I’m taking the pith out of reality.

Illogically, I tend to assume that if you ( Philip Larkin) dream of caning schoolgirls bottoms, it disqualifies you from dismissing half the nation as work-shy.

It’s subjunctive history. You know, the subjunctive? The mood used when something may or may not have happened. When it is imagined.

You always know when you’re going to arrive. If you go by car, you don’t. Apart from anything else, I prefer cycling. It puts you in a good mood, I find.

A book, as it were, closes the book.

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.

The sheer endlessness of books outfaced her and she had no idea how to go on; there was no system to her reading, with one book leading to another, and often she had two or three on the go at the same time.

I think perhaps that’s why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.

We still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.

Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never.

One reads for pleasure…it is not a public duty.

People who laugh together generally don’t kill each other.

The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other’s smartphone.

The other one, and probably an equal pleasure, is finding out how I can be helpful and then really being helpful.

In a correction, other people’s stocks go down, in a bear market, your stocks go down.

Our Palestinian brethren continue to be slaughtered at the hands of Israelis while the world turns the other cheek.

If he does it outwardly (among others) then he has dishonored and shamed him.

What kills us isn’t one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can’t turn down for fear of disappointing others.

Be hard on yourself, easy on others.