History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
ALAN BENNETTFar from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one wanted to pass the time one could go to New Zealand.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
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It’s much easier to follow something that’s not been as successful as this.
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Our perspective on the past alters. Looking back, immediately in front of us is dead ground.
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Artists, celebrated for their humanity, they turn out to be scarcely human at all.
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We still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.
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We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.
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And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours
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Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting. Briefing closes down a subject, reading opens it up.
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The nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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One recipe for happiness is to have to sense of entitlement.’ To this she added a star and noted at the bottom of the page: ‘This is not a lesson I have ever been in a position to learn.
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I bet Tom Stoppard doesn’t have to do this’ or There is no doubt David Hare would have deputed this to an underling.’
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The liturgy is best treated and read as if it’s someone announcing the departure of trains.
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I’m not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people.
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Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.
ALAN BENNETT






