Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
ALAN BENNETTKafka could never have written as he did had he lived in a house.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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But the headmaster happened to have been to Cambridge and decided to try and push some of us towards Oxford and Cambridge.
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I can walk. It’s just that I’m so rich I don’t need to.
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Books are not about passing the time. They’re about other lives. Other worlds.
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However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.
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…she felt about reading what some writers felt about writing: that it was impossible not to do it and that at this late stage of her life she had been chosen to read as others were chosen to write.
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Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin
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What I’m above all primarily concerned with is the substance of life, the pith of reality.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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One recipe for happiness is to have to sense of entitlement.’ To this she added a star and noted at the bottom of the page: ‘This is not a lesson I have ever been in a position to learn.
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Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don’t try and mean it. Nor prayers.
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Over the years Miss Shepherd was visited by a succession of social workers so the character in the play is a composite figure.
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So, half a dozen of us tried – not all of us in history – and we all eventually got in. So, to that extent, it [The History Boys] comes out of my own experience.
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You go to a book to have your convictions corroborated.
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I think the writer’s quite low down in the hierarchy really. But the fact that they took the piss out of Nicholas [Hynter] who, besides being the director, is also director of the National Theatre is, I’d have thought, slightly more risky.
ALAN BENNETT






