Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
ALAN BENNETTCulminating with a man in a white coat saying to one kindly, “And now can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?”
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
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Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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Remember. You are a physician. You are not a policeman nor are you a minister of religion.
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Never read the Bible as if it means something. Or at any rate don’t try and mean it. Nor prayers.
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A book is a device to ignite the imagination.
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My films are about embarrassment.
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I can walk. It’s just that I’m so rich I don’t need to.
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Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date?
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Books are not about passing the time. They’re about other lives. Other worlds.
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There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world.
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And one of the historian’s jobs is to anticipate what our perspective of that period will be… even on the Holocaust.
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What I’m above all primarily concerned with is the substance of life, the pith of reality.
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I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
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I wish they were like the White Rhinosix of them left in the Serengeti National Park, and all males.
ALAN BENNETT






