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Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.

Alan Bennett

Only when I mention it to W. does he explain Kestrel is now a lager. I imagine the future is going to contain an increasing number of incidents like this.
ALAN BENNETT

Explain Future Gone Imagine Incident Increase Larger Mention Number
However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.
ALAN BENNETT

Church Incapable Journey Return Sacrament Weather
The Waste Land not figuring very largely in Mam’s scheme of things. “The thing is,” I said finally, “he won the Nobel Prize.” “Well,” she said, with that unerring grasp of inessentials which is the prerogative of mothers, “I’m not surprised. It was a beautiful overcoat.”
ALAN BENNETT

Beautiful Figure Final Grasp Inessential Land Large Nobel Overcoat Prerogative Prize Scheme Thing Waste
I’ve never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none.
ALAN BENNETT

Except Land Meet never Point Sea Seen Shore
We don’t see it, and because we don’t see it this means that there is no period so remote as the recent past.
ALAN BENNETT

Down Mean No Past Period Recent Remote See
To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
ALAN BENNETT

Could Form Homeopathy Life Mine Play Pursuit Trival
And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours
ALAN BENNETT

Come Dead Down Hand Long Person Set Someone Your
Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.
ALAN BENNETT

Always Assume Children Come Conception Grind Live Parent Sexual
You must take people as they come. Remember, too that though you will generally know more about the condition than the patient, it is the patient who has the condition and this if nothing else bestows on him or her a kind of wisdom.
ALAN BENNETT

Condition Else Generally Kind Nothing Patient People Remember Wisdom
Memories are not shackles, Franklin, they are garlands.
ALAN BENNETT

Franklin Garland Memories Shackles
Our father the novelist; my husband the poet. He belongs to the ages – just don’t catch him at breakfast.
ALAN BENNETT

Age Belong Breakfast Catch Father Husband Novelist Poet
You have the knowledge but that does not entitle you to be superior. Knowledge makes you the servant not the master.
ALAN BENNETT

Entitle Knowledge Master Servant Superior
It’s like going to a place that you’ve never been to before – you’ve got a picture of it and then you go there and that picture is totally wiped out by the reality.
ALAN BENNETT

Go Like Out Pace Picture Reality Total Wipe
You don’t put your life into your books, you find it there.
ALAN BENNETT

Book Find Into Life Put
Artists, celebrated for their humanity, they turn out to be scarcely human at all.
ALAN BENNETT

All Artist Celebrate Human Humanity Scarcely Turn
I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
ALAN BENNETT

Call Character English Lack Mean Power Refrain
I dont know whether you’ve ever looked into a miner’s eyes for any length of time, that is. Because it is the loveliest blue you’ve ever seen.
ALAN BENNETT

Blue Every Eye Know Length Look Loveliest Miner Seen Time Yet
Books, bread and butter, mashed potato – one finishes what’s on one’s plate. That’s always been my philosophy.
ALAN BENNETT

Book Bread Butter Finish Mash One Philosophy Plate Potato
We still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.
ALAN BENNETT

Admit Die Fault Many Partly People So Still War
You go to a book to have your convictions corroborated.
ALAN BENNETT

Book Conviction Corroborate Have
Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
ALAN BENNETT

Elsewhere Generally Happen Life Something
Illogically, I tend to assume that if you ( Philip Larkin) dream of caning schoolgirls bottoms, it disqualifies you from dismissing half the nation as work-shy.
ALAN BENNETT

Assume Bottom Caning Dismiss Disqualify Dream Half Illogically Nation Schoolgirl Shy Work
They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still want to pen their saga untrammelled by life-threatening activities like trailing round Sainsbury’s, emptying the dishwasher or going to the nativity play.
ALAN BENNETT

Dishwasher Empt Nativity Pen Play Round Saga Sainsbury Threat Trailing
I suppose I’m the only person who remembers one of the most exciting of his ballets-it’s the fruit of an unlikely collaboration between Nijinsky on the one hand and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on the other.
ALAN BENNETT

Nijinsky Ballet Collaboration Excite Fruit More Only Person Remember Suppose Unlikely
The nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects.
ALAN BENNETT

Alcohol Communion Effect Holy Near Overestimate Parent Utterly
I had no idea of who could play it, no notion really. Then Richard came to see us but I don’t think it was decided at that meeting.
ALAN BENNETT

Could Decide Idea Meet Notion Really Think
Nor did they seem to think one had done them a kindness by reading their writings. Rather they had done one the kindness by writing them.
ALAN BENNETT

Done Kindness Nor Read Seem Think Write

Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.

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Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.

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Popular Authors

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