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If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

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Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
AL YANKOVIC

Bottle Coke End Got Left Nestle Record Stuck Sun Tongue
Maybe I’ll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
AL YANKOVIC

Belly Button Color Huge Maybe Social Taboo
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.
AL YANKOVIC

Analytical Kid Precise Very Write
If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.
AL YANKOVIC

Buy Happiness Guess Money Rent Sassy
Didn’t have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.
AL YANKOVIC

Honesty Nintendo Pour Salt Snail
I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, ‘OK, this is what I’m going to do for a living and I’m going to be Weird Al.’
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Fantastic Go Hairbrush Live Mirror OK Rock Sing Star Suppose Weird
So I try not to pick songs that I know would drive me crazy.
AL YANKOVIC

Crazy Drive Know Pick Song Try
Doing things that I don’t know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them.
AL YANKOVIC

Do Good Know Them Thing Until
I’m an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I’m a relation to Frankenstein’s creation.
AL YANKOVIC

Acne Bag Everywhere Facial Girl Hair Make Ugly Unwanted
Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.
AL YANKOVIC

Along Anymore Chain Date Food Low Until Came
I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.
AL YANKOVIC

Abusive Column Editor Equally Letter Mad Normal Ongoing Think Tomato
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.
AL YANKOVIC

Continue Day Joke That Up Very
I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!
AL YANKOVIC

Art Humble Know Million Time
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Candidate Enough Good Idea Ostensibly Parody Song Think

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