He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
AL YANKOVICIf you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
More Al Yankovic Quotes
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I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I’m working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life.
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I don’t watch a lot of other people’s parodies because I don’t want to be unduly influenced.
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It fit pretty nicely into my schedule because we’d pretty much finished the bulk of promotion for Mandatory Fun and were just getting geared up for the World Tour so this was a nice time for me to be working on it.
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About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.
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I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
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I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world – even shows that haven’t been on the air for a very long time, that’s going to be harder to pull off.
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How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you’re doing?
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As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.
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As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it’s been a huge promotional tool for me.
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My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
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I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
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I’m very analytical, I’m very precise. I mean, I don’t write for kids.
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I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career.
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I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
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Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.
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