I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
AL FRANKENBeing a comedian, you’re under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform – to deal with pressure without stress.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
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Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
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Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.
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He [Newt Gingrich] is the most unpopular politician in America. His favorable rating is only four points higher than the Unabomber.
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The only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.
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I got interested in politics during the civil rights movement and then Vietnam.
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I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
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Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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Whining is anger through a small opening.
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The reason I wrote political satire was because I thought it – politics – was important… that public policy was important. Then I transitioned into books, then into radio.
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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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My spiritual life is… sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don’t. When I do have access to it, it’s usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do.
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Changing technologies, changing marketplaces, and even changing trends in anti-competitive practices have all presented challenges to antitrust enforcement.
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We need to start by having a conversation about climate change. It would be irresponsible to avoid the issue just because it’s uncomfortable to talk about.
AL FRANKEN






