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This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

Al Franken

I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
AL FRANKEN

Administration Ball Invite Perk
My spiritual life is… sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don’t. When I do have access to it, it’s usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do.
AL FRANKEN

Access Life Mean Real Sometimes Spiritual
I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.
AL FRANKEN

Behalf Deep Feel Life Limb Men Obligation Our Risk Women
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
There are as many forms of advice as there are colors of the rainbow. Remember that good advice can come from bad people and bad advice from good people.
AL FRANKEN

Advice Color Form Many People Rainbow
I think the government has a role in protecting the fundamental rights of its citizens.
AL FRANKEN

Citizen Fundamental Government Protect Right Role Think
You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.
AL FRANKEN

Elect First Funny People Really Should Show Think
I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
AL FRANKEN

Anyone Challenge Couple Deny Gay Joy Married Think Understand
We need an investigation, because we don’t know what Donald Trump owes Russia.
AL FRANKEN

Country Investigate Need Owe President
I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
AL FRANKEN

Change Make Perfectionist Start Stop
You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
AL FRANKEN

Change Definite Everything Fingerprint Leave Secret Touch
I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.
AL FRANKEN

Less More Office Prison Spent Time Wish
Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
AL FRANKEN

Being Dog Master Raise Sense Service Well
Technology is an incredible tool – it connects people to each other.
AL FRANKEN

Connect Each Other Incredible Job People Technology Tool
And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’
AL FRANKEN

Him Hit Run Say Sue Teacher When
I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
AL FRANKEN

Angry Media Right Wing

This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

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This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Al Franken Quotes