“It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.”

Some of George W. Bush’s friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial.

I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.

When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.

We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.

I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.

I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.

Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.

I’m part of the mushball middle. I consider ‘confused’ the majority position because, thankfully.

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.

But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.

Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.

I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.

I’m sure I’ve devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.

Call-time has renewed my faith in the need for public financing of elections. Call-time is where I as the candidate, sit in a room with my “call-time manager,” and a phone. Then I call people and ask them for money. For hours. Apparently, I’m really good at it.