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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Country Fiction Fit Love Need Order Raise Science Standard Vegetarian
I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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Absolutely Baby Dynasty Fan Giant Long Time
I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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Glamorous Stand Tell Up
You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish
I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
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Back Car Dad Grade Motorcycle School Teenager
I don’t believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There’s a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
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the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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Brand Carrer Compensate Everyone Family Free Freedom Life Live Marry Personal Start
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
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Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie
“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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Embrace Happier Instant Other People Say
I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
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Across Audience Come Enough Know Smart Treat Word
I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,
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Academic Actually Attorney Bookish College Comedy Focus Improv Kid Law Sketch Thing Want

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