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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.

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Always Guest Interview Know Listen People Person Really Somebody Tell Want

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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Icon Know Myself Nerd Thinking
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Astronaut Awesome Celebrity Drinking Driver Fun Party People Racecar Suck Unless Working
I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
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Different Good Grown Spoken Time Trying Up Want Way
I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Country Fiction Fit Love Need Order Raise Science Standard Vegetarian
I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
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Across Almost Architect Come Foresaw Honesty Lucy Out Path Plan Pressure Well
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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Define Doing Example Failure Keep People Scare Show Fall Successful Want
Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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Definitely Gnawed Hand Man Maybe Nail Stubby
It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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Apparently Day Desk Drink Fluorescent Frown Generally Hard Last Lighting Upon
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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Afraid Couple Day Everyone Fault Kill Other People Point Want
I like grown up comedy.
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Comedy Grown Like Up
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up
When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Bother Change Comment Eventually Going Kind Point Realize Younger
Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other, not being selfish.
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Be Each Just Kind Marriage Mystery Other Selfish

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