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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.

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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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Move Need Poop Ruin Someone Terminate Thing Workplace
Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
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I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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Afraid Couple Day Everyone Fault Kill Other People Point Want
I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
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Almost Challengee Done Happiest Lucky Much Overwhelmed Pressure Under Wish
I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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Always Guest Interview Know Listen People Person Really Somebody Tell Want
I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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Back Country Some Toronto Wait Waiting
I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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Away Busy Job Other Plenty Possible Thing Want Went
The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
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Advice Again Anybody Best Get Given Over
Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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Blame Else God Human Immediate Look Much Parent Politician Resource Someone Toddler
On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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Actor Boycott Employ General Principle Show
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Bother Change Comment Eventually Going Kind Point Realize Younger
After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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Based Doctors Going Happen Look Procedure Spending Thinking
Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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Comedy Honest Raw Ugly

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