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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.

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Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching

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But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.
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Away Creativity Something Stand Up Walk Want
I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
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I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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Diversity Idea Important Quota Satisfy Some Television Think Trying
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Anything Art Attorney Environmental Government Major Minored Policy Thought
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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