“The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.

Government is like a baby: an alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Government is like a baby: an alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Government is like a baby: an alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Sometimes when I’m faced with an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we have finished eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.

Sometimes when I’m faced with an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we have finished eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.

Government’s first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.

Government’s first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.

Protecting the rights of even the least individual among us is basically the only excuse the government has for even existing.

Protecting the rights of even the least individual among us is basically the only excuse the government has for even existing.

Nothing lasts longer than a temporary government program.

Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas.

Government is not a solution to our problem government is the problem.

Government is the people’s business and every man, woman and child becomes a shareholder with the first penny of tax paid.

There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Government is cancerous in head and limbs;only its belly is sound, and the laws it excretes are the most strightforward shit in the world.

A government must not waiver once it has chosen its course. It must not look to the left or right but go forward.

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don’t go into government.

There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.

You can’t tax business. Business doesn’t pay taxes. It collects taxes.

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.