“The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.”

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’

What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!

You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.

I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’

I love Johnny Cash, and I respect Johnny Cash. He’s the biggest. He’s like an Elvis in this business, but no, he’s never been the rebel.

The Heisman is the biggest award I’ve ever won.

the biggest tragedy of life is the utter impossibility to change what you have done

Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.

Touch her, he said in scotts ear, his voice low and threatening, and itll be the biggest regret of your life.

I always hate it when I see the wrong person in massive roles, so for me, my biggest fear would be accepting a role I thought I wouldn’t find the rhythm of.

No one’s promised anything. You could have the biggest record on radio and sell no records.

The biggest thing, and what I told some of the partners in the summit, was me thanking them for their constant support with everything that I’ve been through the last couple years on and off the court.