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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

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Biggest Funny Girl Girlfriend Humor Life Love Now Right Thing

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My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA

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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
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I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARA

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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
ADAM FERRARA

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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
ADAM FERRARA

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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
ADAM FERRARA

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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA

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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
ADAM FERRARA

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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARA

Biggest Funny Girl Girlfriend Humor Life Love Now Right Thing
Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
ADAM FERRARA

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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
ADAM FERRARA

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I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARA

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