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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.

Related Topics

Animal Compare Date Funny Human Humor Mate Natural Reason Smarted

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA

Bedroom Big Daddy Huge Man Pop Running
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girlfriend Hope Marriage Married Meet Nice She Someone Tell You
I love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARA

Believe Different Distance God Long Question Religious
My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
ADAM FERRARA

Celebrate Celebration Day Earth Easter Egg Favorite Funny Holiday Jesus Rabit
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
ADAM FERRARA

Chicken Father Funny Kiss Once Room Sex Talk Walked You
Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
ADAM FERRARA

Disaapering Got Hidden House Keep Napkin Ring Spoon Start
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
ADAM FERRARA

Biggest Funny Girl Girlfriend Humor Life Love Now Right Thing
I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARA

Arrogance Civilization Demise Human Thinking
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
ADAM FERRARA

Ask Day Friend Funny Girl Humor Life Man One Relationship Time
Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
ADAM FERRARA

Come Conquest Driven Ego Funny Humor Lie Lying Sexual Tend
I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
ADAM FERRARA

Bed Boogie Funny Hurt Man Middle Night Pop Running Under
Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARA

Friend Funny Humor Important Need Sex Story Tell
There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
ADAM FERRARA

Alright Animal Dating Dinner Funny Go Kingdom Movie No Quick Sniff
I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Humor Meet Mial Order Perfect Think Thinking Woman
I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
ADAM FERRARA

Cause Face Food Funny Humor Hungry Lot Talk Women
I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA

Every Funny Hour Humor Like Magazine Man Three

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