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I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on ‘Seinfeld’.

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I guess I was a conspiracy theorist when I said “no weapons in Iraq.” Now they call that history.
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Conspiracy Country Danger Fear Theorist Weapon
One, I push my deadlines closer than anybody else, or let’s say it this way: I’m really late.
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Closer Deadline Late Push Way
I’m actually kind of angriest about the fact that everybody keeps saying how angry I am.
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Angry Expression Keep Kind Saying Show
I don’t think the American government has a lot of respect for culture.
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We have to confront the very scary fact that the president is a moron. He’s really dumb.
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I cannot be made into the commentator for the unspoken black masses.
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But I know that in Toronto and Vancouver there are all the comforts of America, and yet there’s a difference in the people, and I had health care.
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Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.
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Affiliation Commit Gun Political Terrorism
You know, every time a summer movie comes out, people think they’re gonna get rich off of the merchandise.
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Merchandise Movie People Rich Summer Think Thinking
Obviously, there’s a million things we’re allowed to say on late-night cable that you’re not allowed to say on a prime time broadcast.
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Allow Broadcast Cable Late Million Night Obvious Thing
Fame is not your friend. It ain’t necessarily your enemy. It is what it is.
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Enemy Fame Friend Necessarily
It may sound weird, but I don’t really look for culture, particularly in an American city.
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Country Culture Particular Sound Weird
I think you have to play the game on every level. If you need a friendly, charismatic, good-looking guy to be the mouthpiece, then so be it. And maybe Ralph Nader should just be behind the scenes telling that guy what to say.
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I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.
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Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
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Bed Late Long Mistake Money Wake
And I’m not so in love with making people mad that I want to live my life around it.
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Around Love Mad Making People Want

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