The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
DICK CAVETTEvery time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
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Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.
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There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
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Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there’s not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.
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The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
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I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
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I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.
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Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
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I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
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My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
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I think I’d be pretty easy to write for.
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A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.
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Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
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I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
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Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!
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Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it’s painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it’s extremely painful.
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Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.
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I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
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When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
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I’m not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy.
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History is not reassuring on the subject of the longevity of seemingly lasting great nations, is it?
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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
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It’s lamented that the youth get their news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. It’s lamentable that they get more from them than from the news.
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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
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I’m not all that enthralled by show business, and I’m not that much of a highbrow.
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By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.
DICK CAVETT