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To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

Dick Cavett

I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
DICK CAVETT

Himself Person Rare
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
DICK CAVETT

Anxiety Bear Dreams Emotion True
I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
DICK CAVETT

Life Live Myself
Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little better and can again function sufficiently.
DICK CAVETT

Better Depression Function Patience Sadness Suicide
I’m not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy.
DICK CAVETT

Block Easy Hard Myself Reason Writing
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
DICK CAVETT

Promotion See Subtle
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
DICK CAVETT

Acceptance Financial People Profit Yourself
An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.
DICK CAVETT

Damage Goodness Talk Time
Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.
DICK CAVETT

Day Device Myself Sick
I love my own coincidences and love to hear other peoples’ stories.
DICK CAVETT

Love Myself People Story
You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you’re stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, ‘Hey, you’re great! What’s your name again?’
DICK CAVETT

Name Street Surprise Time Yourself

To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

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To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

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Popular Authors

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