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To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

Dick Cavett

Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
DICK CAVETT

Commercial Exposure Judge Rare Screen
Coming up through the ranks of any calling can be rough, but that battered soul who survives the early years of courting the comic muse comes close to knowing what only the soldier knows: What combat is like.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Court Early Known Rank Rough Survive
I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
DICK CAVETT

Away Happiness Myself Stay
An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.
DICK CAVETT

Damage Goodness Talk Time
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
I always wanted to live in a haunted house.
DICK CAVETT

Haunt Home Live Myself
A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.
DICK CAVETT

Conversation Memorable Myself Order Sentence
There is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.
DICK CAVETT

Devotee Head Level Romance Society Weapon
The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.
DICK CAVETT

Authority Depression Feeling Horrible
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.
DICK CAVETT

Big Book Mistake Reading Start Yourself
My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Intelligence Myself
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
DICK CAVETT

Blessing Head Movie Myself Perfection Teacher
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!
DICK CAVETT

Journalism Myself Sentence Start

To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

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To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

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