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I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.

Dick Cavett

Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’
DICK CAVETT

Honesty Myself Time Togetherness
It’s lamented that the youth get their news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. It’s lamentable that they get more from them than from the news.
DICK CAVETT

Information News Youth
Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
DICK CAVETT

Age Photograph Yourself
Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
DICK CAVETT

Assumption Finance Handle Himself People Treat
Therapists need to give a depressed patient support and direction.
DICK CAVETT

Depression Direction Patience Therapy
There is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.
DICK CAVETT

Devotee Head Level Romance Society Weapon
Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little better and can again function sufficiently.
DICK CAVETT

Better Depression Function Patience Sadness Suicide
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
DICK CAVETT

Commercial Exposure Judge Rare Screen
The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.
DICK CAVETT

Authority Depression Feeling Horrible
In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.
DICK CAVETT

Relative Remember Thinking Youth
A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
DICK CAVETT

Growth Man See Tough
You can, after all, reduce the reasons for watching TV to but two: to be lulled, and to be stimulated. Some people do one sometimes, the other sometimes. Some people do all of one or all of the other.
DICK CAVETT

People Reason Television Watch
I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
DICK CAVETT

Joke Myself Short Show Subject
I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
DICK CAVETT

Bright Empty Evaporate Future Language Myself Quick
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect

I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.

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I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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