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Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

Dick Cavett

Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
DICK CAVETT

Blessing Head Movie Myself Perfection Teacher
I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Myself See Show Stand
It’s not always easy to identify your own voice. It comes with time.
DICK CAVETT

Easy Identify Time Voice Yourself
The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
DICK CAVETT

Head Inflection Trick Word Writing Yourself
By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.
DICK CAVETT

Father Myself Phone Sound Time
An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.
DICK CAVETT

Damage Goodness Talk Time
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
DICK CAVETT

Promotion See Subtle
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
I have a disturbing problem with losing things. My vulnerability to loss-distress could properly be labeled not only inordinate, but neurotic.
DICK CAVETT

Disturb Label Lose Myself Problem Vulnerable
The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
DICK CAVETT

Anxiety Bear Dreams Emotion True
Greatly talented performers don’t know – often spectacularly – what’s best for them, don’t know what their talents really are, and don’t know what’s just plain wrong for them.
DICK CAVETT

Best Dumb Great Talent Unknown Wrong
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
DICK CAVETT

Call Exception Interest Laughter Myself Religion
Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.
DICK CAVETT

Dentist Home Ideas School
The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
DICK CAVETT

Force Police Sex
It was well after college that I learned about depression. I got my first job for Jack Paar. I realized I was sleeping 14 hours a day and just living for the Paar show.
DICK CAVETT

College Learning Myself Realization

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

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Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

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