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Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.

Dick Cavett

I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.
DICK CAVETT

Feeling Himself Man Old Wrong Young
Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it’s hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy Need Resent Writing Yourself
History is not reassuring on the subject of the longevity of seemingly lasting great nations, is it?
DICK CAVETT

Assurance Greatness History Subject Union
Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
DICK CAVETT

Age Photograph Yourself
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
DICK CAVETT

Away Happiness Myself Stay
I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars – and, of course, the planets.
DICK CAVETT

Believe Confession Live Planet Reading Reminder Space
In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.
DICK CAVETT

Relative Remember Thinking Youth
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.
DICK CAVETT

Father Myself Phone Sound Time
Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.
DICK CAVETT

Site Try Weapon Wish
You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you’re stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, ‘Hey, you’re great! What’s your name again?’
DICK CAVETT

Name Street Surprise Time Yourself
Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
DICK CAVETT

Assumption Finance Handle Himself People Treat
The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.
DICK CAVETT

Authority Depression Feeling Horrible
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
DICK CAVETT

Comedy Street Television
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
I hate Danny Kaye movies.
DICK CAVETT

Hate Movie Myself
I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests’ books.
DICK CAVETT

Alphabet Book Guest Intellectual Reading
A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.
DICK CAVETT

Big Book Mistake Reading Start Yourself
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!
DICK CAVETT

Journalism Myself Sentence Start
I guess the best advice I ever got or anyone could get for doing a talk show, though it has not been easy very often, was from Jack Paar, who said, ‘Kid, don’t make it an interview. Interviews have clipboards, and you’re like David Frost. Make it a conversation.’
DICK CAVETT

Advice Best Conversation Interview Myself Talk
It’s a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.
DICK CAVETT

Artificial Function Human Situation Tribute
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
DICK CAVETT

Afraid Mindset Myself People Police Sex Violence
Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.
DICK CAVETT

Hard Work Lawyer Ourselves
A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
DICK CAVETT

Growth Man See Tough

Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.

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Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.

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Popular Authors

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