“There is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.”

I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.

I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.

Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.

It was well after college that I learned about depression. I got my first job for Jack Paar. I realized I was sleeping 14 hours a day and just living for the Paar show.

Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.

There were several things a Yale freshman was supposed to be able to do. You had to demonstrate in the Olympic-size Yale pool that you could swim 50 yards or be inducted into swimming class.

History is not reassuring on the subject of the longevity of seemingly lasting great nations, is it?

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.

If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.

I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars – and, of course, the planets.

I think I’d be pretty easy to write for.

Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.

When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’

The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.

Devotees are not impressed by the poverty or wealth in material sense in any way; what impresses is devotion.

You can not understand “Scripture” without seeing through the eyes of the Spiritual Master or Advanced Devotees.

The essence of Bhagavad Gita is that we should always think of Krsna, become His devotee, worship him and offer homage unto him.

For a devotee death opens door for liberation but for a non-devotee death is end of everything.

Do not offend devotees or even non-devotees. Because all those whom we know as devotees today were once not devotees.

Bhakti is the one essential thing. To be sure, God exists in all beings. Who, then is a devotee?

I’d rather be one of the devotees of God than one of the straight, so-called sane or normal people who just don’t understand that man is a spiritual being, that he has a soul.