It finally happened like I thought it might I run into you.
CHELSIE DIANEIt finally happened like I thought it might I run into you.
CHELSIE DIANEI found my old diary tonight. A brokenness I had forgotten pen pressured so deep it punctured page. I ran my fingers over my words and there inside ridges black I found a little girl desperate for someone to save her, desperate for the very woman I have become.
CHELSIE DIANEThe point is that I loved.
CHELSIE DIANEI will not believe It’s less holy to be human. I will not bow my head. I will not close my eyes to god.
CHELSIE DIANEHour 36 of labor. I pull at god’s necktie dig a hole at the hospital floor.
CHELSIE DIANEYou say: you are mourning a man that could not love you. Full stop. Cover the last word. There’s the truth.
CHELSIE DIANEBeautiful creature its time to forgive yourself you were surviving.
CHELSIE DIANEIf your mother does not love you well or is no longer here to love you well, may you feel worthy enough to open to the thousand tiny ways the spirit of mother longs to love you today.
CHELSIE DIANEI meet you and know suddenly and horribly there is no difference between sex and war that I must die to get that close to touching god.
CHELSIE DIANEMy brother has not spoken to me in years. Something to do with Donald Trump or Jesus Christ or our horrible stepfather.
CHELSIE DIANEThe day my children move out is years I can count on two hands I have them half this time years I count on one.
CHELSIE DIANEI want you as a lemon the waiter brings on a tiny white plate. I want him to watch while I squeeze you into my mouth and swallow the rind.
CHELSIE DIANEGood morning. The sun is 93 million miles away her light takes 8 minutes to find you each day. You are on purpose.
CHELSIE DIANEGod is a woman and like every woman has millions of years of men speaking for her.
CHELSIE DIANEThis morning I tell the kindest man on earth after two dates, you are good and you are not my man. My man is not as good as you.
CHELSIE DIANEEverything great I’ve done I did not think to do so.
CHELSIE DIANE