Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARDLet’s all start walking more and driving less.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
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Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Spring time is the land awakening.
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It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
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Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
There’s no such thing as being too Southern.
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When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
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Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARD