If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.
DAVE CHAPPELLESomething about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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You got to be careful of the company you keep.
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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
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I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
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Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
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Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something. But it’s not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.
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No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
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I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
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I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
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Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive.
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There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.
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Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
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When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
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I started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.
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Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.
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The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
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My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’
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Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
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I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
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All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
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Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.
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I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
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I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
DAVE CHAPPELLE