“Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.”

There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.

I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

The higher up I went, the less happy I was.

I got a lot of positive people around me.

I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.

Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.

They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

To me Psycho was a big comedy. Had to be.

If tragedy is an experience of hyperinvolvement, comedy is an experience of underinvolvement, of detachment.

People either have comedy or they don’t. You can’t teach it to them.

Comedy too can sometimes discern what is right. I shall not please, but I shall say what is true.

Comedy is allied to justice.

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I’ll cry.

Actors should stop posting on social media. If we know you it’s harder for us to believe your role. Comedians excluded.