“You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!”

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.

Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.

If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.

Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.

Millions of men have lived to fight, build palaces and boundaries, shape destinies and societies; but the compelling force of all times has been the force of originality and creation profoundly affecting the roots of human spirit.

I never cared about money. I’m not destined to be a rich woman. I’m destined to be a woman who makes a lot of money and never has any. I’ve made millions and millions and millions of dollars and I just spend it.

Your life fell apart for a reason. Trust now, give space for your greater destiny.

I knew my destiny when I first experienced Yosemite.

Poor people cannot rely on the government to come to help you in times of need. You have to get your education. Then nobody can control your destiny.

Spiritual power is the eternal guide, in this life and the life after, for man ranks supreme among all creatures. Led forward by spiritual power, man can reach the summit destined for him by the Great Creator.

That great lover of peace, a man of giant stature who moulded, as few other men have done, the destinies of his age.