Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThe idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
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The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
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There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
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They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
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The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
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I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
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It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
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Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
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I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
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Spring time is the land awakening.
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Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, “Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?”
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If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
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I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
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Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
LEWIS GRIZZARD