“Wit and humor belong to genius alone.”

Where there’s music there can be no evil.

It is courage that vanquishes in war, and not good weapons.

Love is invisible and comes and goes where it wants, without anyone asking about it.

Tell me what company thou keepest and I’ll tell thee what thou art.

There were no embraces, because where there is great love there is often little display of it.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Where one door shuts another opens.

Valor lies just halfway between rashness and cowardice.

Diligence is the mother of good fortune, and idleness, its opposite, never brought a man to the goal of any of his best wishes.

History is the depository of great actions, the witness of what is past, the example and instructor of the present, and monitor to the future.

It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

Maybe the greatest madness is to see life as it is rather than what it could be.

He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses his courage loses all.

When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?

I know who I am and who I may be, if I choose.

Delay always breeds danger.

Aging can be fun if you lay back and enjoy it.

My imagination will get me a passport to hell one day.

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read!

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero?

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” Then I go turn the heat up, and I add some carrots and onions.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.