“When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.”

Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.

If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?

The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.

Infinity is just time on an ego trip.

There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.

It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?

You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.

My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.

If you can’t be direct, why be?

There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Remember we’re all in this alone.

Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.

The greatest rewards come when you give of yourself. It’s about bettering the lives of others, being part of something bigger than yourself, and making a positive difference.

If an offense come out of the truth, better is it that the offense come than that the truth be concealed.

Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.

Dogs can bear more cold than human beings, but they do not like cold any better than we do; and when a dog has his choice, he will very gladly stretch himself on a rug before the fire for his afternoon nap.

There is nothing better or more necessary than love.

Prayer and sacrifice can touch souls better than words.

It is better to remain silent than to speak the truth ill-humoredly, and spoil an excellent dish by covering it with bad sauce.

Free enterprise has done more to lift people out of poverty, to help build a strong middle class, to help educate our kids, and to make our lives better than all the programs of government combined.