“Someday we’ll look back on this and it will all seem funny.”

I’m ready to grow young again.

I’m ready to grow young again.

The light from the oncoming train focuses the mind.

The light from the oncoming train focuses the mind.

The light from the oncoming train focuses the mind.

I have spent my life judging the distance between American reality and the American dream.

I have spent my life judging the distance between American reality and the American dream.

I have spent my life judging the distance between American reality and the American dream.

What if what you do to survive kills the things you love?

What if what you do to survive kills the things you love?

If you want truth to go round the world you must hire an express train to pull it; but if you want a lie to go round the world, it will fly: it is as light as a feather, and a breath will carry it. It is well said in the old proverb, ‘a lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on’.

If you want truth to go round the world you must hire an express train to pull it; but if you want a lie to go round the world, it will fly: it is as light as a feather, and a breath will carry it. It is well said in the old proverb, ‘a lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on’.

What if what you do to survive kills the things you love?

When it comes to luck, you make your own.

If you want truth to go round the world you must hire an express train to pull it; but if you want a lie to go round the world, it will fly: it is as light as a feather, and a breath will carry it. It is well said in the old proverb, ‘a lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on’.

When it comes to luck, you make your own.

Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.