Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKERIf you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER -
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Women and elephants never forget.
DOROTHY PARKER -
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER -
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER