I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKERWriting well is the best revenge.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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It was written without fear and without research.
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The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
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Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
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Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
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Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
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By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
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Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
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It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
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What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
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You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER