Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK