He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
ERMA BOMBECK