A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKENMisogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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There is no idea so stupid that you can’t find a professor who will believe it.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
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Change is not progress.
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The State doesn’t just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
H. L. MENCKEN