The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
H. L. MENCKENThe only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.
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Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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There’s really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts.
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. MENCKEN






