A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. MENCKENA judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. MENCKENThe ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
H. L. MENCKENThere’s really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
H. L. MENCKENFor every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKENWhat men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
H. L. MENCKENWhen somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
H. L. MENCKENEvery decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. MENCKENSometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
H. L. MENCKENThere are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”
H. L. MENCKENPuritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKENThe chief difference between free capitalism and State socialism seems to be this: that under the former a man pursues his own advantage openly, frankly and honestly, whereas under the latter he does so hypocritically and under false pretenses.
H. L. MENCKENA professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
H. L. MENCKENThere are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
H. L. MENCKENThe only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
H. L. MENCKENOn one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKENAlways remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
H. L. MENCKEN