For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKENA judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
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When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
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Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.
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The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
H. L. MENCKEN