A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. MENCKENMost people want security in this world, not liberty.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
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Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
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It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
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The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
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Always remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
H. L. MENCKEN






