Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
TINA FEYGravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
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Life is improvisation.
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It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
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I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
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Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
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In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
TINA FEY