Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
TINA FEYIt’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
More Tina Fey Quotes
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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
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It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
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It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
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(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
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There are no mistakes only opportunities.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.
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In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY