Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
TINA FEYThis week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
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This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
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I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
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Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
TINA FEY