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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

Tina Fey

You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
TINA FEY

Another Business Competition Other Woman
I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
TINA FEY

Agreement Baby Back Contract Nbc Verbal Work
I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
TINA FEY

Amazing Four Gay Good Look Lot Movie Nobody Seen Star Team
It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
TINA FEY

Attempt Celebrity Country Funny Hime Magical People Report Won
North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
TINA FEY

Absolute Act Country Interview Intolerable Refer Terror Wanton
People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
TINA FEY

Children Country Elsewhere Mind Parent People Prove Thousand
I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
TINA FEY

Design Excercise Funny Machine People Reward Sex Someone Workout
You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
TINA FEY

Experience Survive Sweating Understand
I can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody’s business and I’ll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.
TINA FEY

Baby Business Nobody Poisble Regret Ruin Second Take Time Unless Do
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
TINA FEY

Beauty Care Hilarious Important Inspirational Inspiring Rule
(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
TINA FEY

Cry Everyone never People Say Some Terrify
So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
TINA FEY

Ageism Face Funny Motivational Inspirational Lookism Sexism Unsolicited Witty Workplace
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
TINA FEY

According Cardiovascular Develop Disease Funny Marriage Less Lonely Marriage Satisfying Study Women Worry
Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
TINA FEY

See Start Take Yes You
You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
TINA FEY

Advice Comedian Doing Learn Male Truth
The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
TINA FEY

Achieve Arm Athlete Closet Country Doll Made People Person President Scientist

When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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