Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
TINA FEYIf you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
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Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
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I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
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I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
TINA FEY