Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
TINA FEYIf you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
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Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
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So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
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Life is improvisation.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
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I can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody’s business and I’ll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.
TINA FEY -
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
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In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
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I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
TINA FEY -
Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
TINA FEY