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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

Ron White

I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE

Comedy Live Only Part Sharp Show Stay Time Way
Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
RON WHITE

Brother Come Later Number Operate Phone See Something
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
RON WHITE

Around Comfortable Laugh Listen Make Onstage Story Talk Tell Twenty Unable
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
RON WHITE

Exercise Exposure Harder Like More Much Muscle Work Writer
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE

Let Go Next Thought Time
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
RON WHITE

Been Comedian Consider Fun Good Peer Sure
You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
RON WHITE

Anymore Call Hear Joke Lose Mean People Pop Stage Start Tell Want
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
RON WHITE

Find Guess Humor Laugh Lot People Something
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE

Beg Comedian Famous More Tend Universe
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Come Earn Haunt Someone Time
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE

Everybody Joke Know Writer
All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
RON WHITE

Besides Comedy Funny Know Lake Mind Spit

I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

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