If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
QUENTIN CRISPKeeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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The … problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a “real” man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who “goes with” other men is not what they would call a real man. The conundrum is incapable of resolution, but that does not make homosexuals give it up.
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In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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I never understood music. It seemed to me to be the maximum amount of noise conveying the minimum amount of information.
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To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
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Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
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In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
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There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can’t think what to do with the long winter evenings.
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It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it’s also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
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The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
QUENTIN CRISP