An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
QUENTIN CRISPTo my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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It’s been agony but I couldn’t have done it any other way.
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The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
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The flagrantly gay Quentin Crisp dealt with homophobic bullying by refusing to bow to its onslaught. His number listed in the phone directory, he responded to derogatory remarks accompanied with a stated intent to kill him by asking, “Would you like to make an appointment?”
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It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as ‘Soho’ poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
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You don’t have to deal with anyone in America. They accept you the way you are.
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Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
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My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
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Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
QUENTIN CRISP